Why Online Personal Ads Are Great!

by Robin Forbes

Top 10 Reasons why online personal ads are a great way to meet new gay guys!

1. Costs less to post a personal ad online than a personal ad in your typical newspaper classifieds.

2. You can upload photos to accompany your online personal ad. This typically increases browsing and response rates tremendously.

3. More variety and a wider reach of men are available to you online, than a local personal ads column or your local bar.

4. The men cruising the online personal ads sites are more receptive to meeting new guys, than a lot of other offline social situations.

5. You don't have to be a great dancer, strain your ear drums, or nurse a hangover to meet cute guys.

6. You're able to include a lot more information about yourself in an online personal ad than a tiny newspaper classified ad.

7. You're able to find out more information about a prospective guy in an online personal ad than a tiny newspaper classified ad.

8. You can take the time to get to know the guy better, before you decide if you want to go out with him for a date.

9. Many gay personals sites offer multiple ways to connect with prospective guys; including, in-house e-mail systems, (so you don't have to reveal your e-mail until you're ready), instant messaging, chat rooms, and video chat.

10. It works - Hundreds of thousands of single gay men like you have hooked up into the relationship of their choice online.

6 Tips for Your Successful First Date

• Have confidence in yourself, your abilities and that the date will go well. Guys are attracted to guys who have or exude confidence. Confidence is about knowing who you are, what you want and knowing that you'll get it.
• Don't think of it as a date, think of it as meeting someone interesting, for lunch, dinner, drinks, coffee, or whatever it is you plan to do. By throwing away the "date" label you can get down to just having a pleasant outing with the guy with no "date expectations".
• Relax and just be you. Trying to conjure up some sort of false persona is pointless, you might impress yourself for a second or two and maybe even the other guy for a moment; until he figures out its all hype or "bull". It's OK to be you and if the other guy isn't interested in you it's no big deal, because there's thousands and thousands of gay men out there.
• Arrive a little bit early. I like to arrive at places a little early for a variety of reasons, but I've found it a helpful habit if I'm feeling a bit nervous or shy too. When you're going out to a restaurant or a coffee shop, if you arrive a bit early you can go to the washroom without deserting your date, compose yourself, fix your hair, wash those sweaty palms and relieve yourself if necessary. Arriving a little early or exactly on time also means that you won't be rushed and you won't be puffing out excuses as to why you were late. It just makes things easier and less stressed initially.
• Dress for the occasion and location. You don't need to look like a Queer Eye for the Straight Guy makeover, but if you dress nicely and appropriately for the occasion and the location, you'll not only look great, you'll feel great. You'll be confident that you're in the right attire for wherever it is you're going out to.
• Wear your "power underwear" when you go out on a date, especially your first date. If you don't have a pair of "power underwear", get some. The idea is to get something that makes you feel incredibly powerful and sexy. I find that thongs in purple, red or black, fit the bill for my power underwear. They allow you to feel and be powerful, sexy, flirty, and confident; all the things you need on a date. It doesn't matter if you don't end up in the sack or on the floor later on in the evening. Power underwear is something that can give the shy guy that extra little edge.

Here are a few suggestions or tips, on what to take with you on a date.

1. Your humor - A must. Guys don't want to go out with sour-pusses.

2. Condoms and lube. You never know, but it's best to be prepared. Personally, I try to refrain from sex on the first date, as I've found it helpful to make the guy wait - Drive him crazy with anticipation.

3. Wear clean, neat, tidy and appropriate clothes. It's really amazing just how many guys think they can get away with dirty underwear, shoes that are falling apart, or looking like a construction worker when they go to a really fancy restaurant. Take pride in your appearance.

4. A couple of questions or topics that you can talk about or use as conversation starters or conversation bridges.

5. Breath mints - Keep your breath fresh and pleasant please.

6. Pen Paper - I rarely go anywhere without these; great for jotting down and exchanging email addresses, phone numbers, Instant Message handles, websites.

7. Emergency money. Long ago, I learned the value of taking change with me for pay phones. If you get in a bind you can call a friend or a relative. Of course if you've got a cell phone - even better. Just remember to turn it off so that you're paying attention to your date and not to all those people who just have to call you. I've also found it helpful to carry enough cash to pay for at least my portion of any meal - even if I've been told that "it's on him".

Online Dating Safety

Gay chat rooms -- Some guys love them, others loathe them. I'll admit that I haven't been active in the chat rooms for a few years. However, before I set about to writing this article I decided to cruise by a few chat rooms to see what the scoop is these days...Nothing much has really changed since my chat days; which could be a good thing or not.

Chat rooms can be a good way to meet new guys. Sometimes these virtual meetings and hookups can actually lead to meeting guys in the flesh. I've actually made it that far a couple of times. Where things go from there -- well, that's up to you and the guy you happen to meet with.

More often than not though, chat rooms tend to be a good place for a virtual quickie, or a good place to just socialize and chat with someone new about anything or nothing in particular. In my experience and observations, the emphasis tends to be on the virtual quickies and the hunt for virtual quickies.

Timing is everything -- I've been to chat rooms that are totally crowded and rocking. When I went back a day later -- the same room would be totally dead. It all depends on the time of day or night, just how active the chat room will be and where in the world the guys are chatting from.

By the way, most of the dating services that I recommend have chat rooms for their members. The chat rooms tend to be text based chat rooms were it's one big free for all, with the ability to create a little private room for one-on-one text chats. Some also offer one-on-one video chat services.

One of the things that I've noticed lately about the various portals that offer chat rooms is that in order to participate fully or to be able to use the full range of features that the site uses, prospective members are encouraged to upgrade their free chat accounts to a paid account.

In fact, at MSN chat, which has quite a number of gay chat rooms, it doesn't look like free members can do anything anymore other than lurk in the corner and watch people chat. You've got to upgrade to a premium chat account which happens to also give you a premium Hotmail account.

One of the reasons that the chat room providers are starting to charge money is to help cut down on the spammers who like to do fly by advertising in chat rooms. Chat rooms tend to be really expensive to run too as they use a lot of bandwidth and processes.

In any event, I've been out collecting links to gay chat rooms, which I'll list here. I'm working on a more comprehensive list or directory of places to chat and I'll post it to this website when it's completed.

(For those guys that don't know, Chat and Forums are two different things. Chat is real time, whilst forums are message boards where the conversation, topic or posts can last for quite some time.)

5 Reasons Why Some Guys Email Queries Haven't or Don't Get Answered

A lot of guys wonder why their email queries to guys they've discovered online, or even offline for that matter, never get answered. Well wonder no more; because here's the top five reasons why some guys emails don't get answered.

1. The guy on the other end hasn't read your email yet.

This is quite common and it's probably the number one reason why there's been no reply to your email. There's dozens of reasons why that guy you're interested in hasn't read your query. Here are a few common reasons why he hasn't read your email yet:

- He could be wadding through dozens of other queries that arrived before yours.
- The guy might only check his inbox once a week.
- The guy could be on vacation.

2. You're a negative person or came off sounding like one.

Dark, brooding, moody people and emails from such types, turn other guys off fast. Guys just don't want to deal with that type of a person. You must be bright, cheerful and hopeful. If that's not the mood you're in when you write to a prospective guy, then you'd better log off and get your self into the right frame of mind first.

Another type of negative email that other guys will delete is the type that starts listing off all of the things in life that he doesn't like, or the type of guy he hopes you aren't, or all of the things he doesn't want in the way of a guy. If that's your style then you're going to have a hard time getting guys to respond - most won't even bother.

3. You mentioned your ex.

Mentioning your former partner in the first email is also a bad idea. It doesn't matter if you broke up with him or he passed away; stay clear of this for now. It also doesn't matter how you feel about your ex; all the prospective guy is interested in right now is finding a reason to respond back to you - or not. In fact, while I'm on this subject - avoid trashing ex's at all costs. It's a major turn off and leads one to think, "What's he going to say about me later on?"

4. The e-mail came off sounding like it was from a lost puppy dog.

Guys just aren't interested in dating lost puppy dogs. They want to meet and date new guys who are upbeat, happy, attractive, interesting, hot, funny, and maybe even outrageously wealthy. *grin* -- All of the above please! They want to be with guys that are comfortable with themselves and their situation.

What they don't want to date is someone who they'll have to play nursemaid, nanny, mommy or daddy, your ex-lover or your deceased partner to.

This is first hand personal experience talking here. I've been there - And You Can Beat It!

5. The guy just isn't interested.

Possible reasons include:

1. The e-mail was a form letter; this is a biggie. If your e-mail is or looks like a form letter, most guys will instantly hit the delete button. Take the time to write a personal email to each individual guy that you want to respond to.
2. You totally ignored the fact that the guy isn't looking for someone like you. It's amazing how many guys fail to read or totally ignore the fact that the guy they fire off an e-mail to has no interest in moving half-way across the planet, or prefers a certain age group, or isn't into certain types of relationships, etc...
3. Don't try to force a change in mind - it's a losing battle. Set your sites on guys that do want what you have to offer.
4. "Your Guy", is busy pursuing other men that seem more suited to him. Just because you think you'd be the best match for him doesn't mean that he does.